Without realising it, someone can slip into an extramarital affair. First of all, let me say that no one wants to be involved in an affair intentionally - unless you have little morals or conscience of course.
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And when you finally realise, getting out will not be an easy task as it involves breaking someone's heart - including yours. So how can you be made aware of the extramarital affair danger? Read on to see the warning signs.
The first stage of an affair is a friendly one. Someone become friends with someone else other than their spouse because of similar interests or hobby. This can happen anywhere including the workplace or social groups you belong to. At this stage attraction may or may not yet exist and therefore is probably still harmless.
A friendship will then inevitably become closer - this is the very first sign of emotional affair. You will then start sharing more stories about anything and before you realise it, you will start sharing intimate stories with this new close friend of yours - the ups and downs of your relationship including problems you have with your spouse.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
He or she may give you personal opinions offering resolutions to your problems - mind you these resolution sounds good to your ear.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
Finally, things become very dangerous when deeper emotional sharing occurs. This leads to emotional affair - a feeling of closeness and understood. You start fantasizing about your friend - not necessarily in a sexual way, but rather idealising him/her in your head - 'what if I have a husband/wife like that...'.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Soon enough you will create an atmosphere - or you may find yourself in an atmosphere where someone 'happens' to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may be helped by alcohol but lets just say worst case scenario you may accidentally sleep with your friend - involving a high degree of emotional intimacy.
You cannot get out...
No, you can! Now I can tell you that extramarital affairs do NOT just naturally happen without any signs. You can choose to see them, or choose to overlook those signs - by trying to convince yourself that nothing is going on between you and your friend. You have control from the start and knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the affair.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions.
The same pattern is always followed, those signs that you don't pay much attention to - to make you aware that you are about to be caught in a rip dangerous to your heart. Of course, it is too easy to overlook these signs and hence many people won't realise it until after they're stuck;
And when you finally realise, getting out will not be an easy task as it involves breaking someone's heart - including yours. So how can you be made aware of the extramarital affair danger? Read on to see the warning signs.
The first stage of an affair is a friendly one. Someone become friends with someone else other than their spouse because of similar interests or hobby. This can happen anywhere including the workplace or social groups you belong to. At this stage attraction may or may not yet exist and therefore is probably still harmless.
A friendship will then inevitably become closer - this is the very first sign of emotional affair. You will then start sharing more stories about anything and before you realise it, you will start sharing intimate stories with this new close friend of yours - the ups and downs of your relationship including problems you have with your spouse.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
He or she may give you personal opinions offering resolutions to your problems - mind you these resolution sounds good to your ear.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
Finally, things become very dangerous when deeper emotional sharing occurs. This leads to emotional affair - a feeling of closeness and understood. You start fantasizing about your friend - not necessarily in a sexual way, but rather idealising him/her in your head - 'what if I have a husband/wife like that...'.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Soon enough you will create an atmosphere - or you may find yourself in an atmosphere where someone 'happens' to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may be helped by alcohol but lets just say worst case scenario you may accidentally sleep with your friend - involving a high degree of emotional intimacy.
You cannot get out...
No, you can! Now I can tell you that extramarital affairs do NOT just naturally happen without any signs. You can choose to see them, or choose to overlook those signs - by trying to convince yourself that nothing is going on between you and your friend. You have control from the start and knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the affair.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs - don't let it override your emotions.
About the Author:
Sally Webb is the Editor of Cheating-Spouse-Alert.com. Visit her site for more information on topics of infidelity and affairs from signs of cheating spouse to ways of finding out. Furthermore, See the article: Extramarital Affair: should I confess to my spouse.
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