As reported by the Associated Press, nearly one in four men cheat on their wives. Despite the effects of an affair having long-lasting and damaging effects on the relationship, there is normally a motivating factor for a man to cheat. In no way does the presence of a motivator excuse the affair itself, but drilling down to the reason why a man might cheat can help women deal with the after-effects of an affair and, possibly, avoid becoming victims of an affair altogether.
One of the things we need to understand about relationships is what makes them tick. While a full review of the commitment motivators in a relationship is outside the scope of this article, there are some quick, clear basics. First off, both men and women come to expect attention in a relationship. Regardless of how well you cook or how much money you earn, stop paying attention to your partner and chances are high that they will stray. With this in mind, too much attention can also push a partner away (maybe not to cheat, however).
Admiration is the next basic commitment motivators. While both spouses share this need, the man usually has a greater need for admiration. When a woman's admiration for her husband dies (or fades considerably), the man will have a heightened sensitivity to the admiration of another woman. Of course, admiration can present itself in a variety of ways and does not suggestion a woman should transform herself into a dedicated slave to her husband's every need. Instead, the absence of nagging or complaining can enhance existing signs of admiration.
So, what does it mean when a man cheats? One question we must ask ourselves is whether or not we were able to "admire" and "respect" our partner while giving them the right amount of "attention." In many cases, a man who cheats will claim that he feels unappreciated by his wife and that he has lost her interest and admiration. Would the right mix of admiration, respect, and attention eliminate the incidence of cheating? That depends.
Another reason men might cheat is that they understand that their wives are usually extremely loyal (in contrast to the male statistic, only 14% of women cheat on their spouse). In fact, women are extremely unlikely to leave after their husband has an affair because they feel their man needs and wants them. Perhaps it is an inbred motherly instinct, but women are a lot more tolerant after an affair than a man is. Whether it is a statement of their loyalty, women are also more forgiving. With divorce statistics as high as they are, this becomes extremely important.
Now, forgiveness does not mean tolerance of affairs. Instead, by gaining awareness about infidelity, we may succeed in keeping our spouses satisfied emotionally and eliminating or at least reducing the need that men feel to seek attention, respect, and admiration elsewhere. Although no relationship can claim to be perfect, almost all of them can be made better with a small investment of effort from both parties. By increasing our attention level (such as spending more time with our spouse and taking an interest in their lives), by showing signs of admiration (such as thanking them for their contributions even if they fall short) and, finally, by showing greater respect (such as understanding our spouse is an emotional being and deserves respect) we can expect an improvement to the quality of the relationship as we see it.
One of the things we need to understand about relationships is what makes them tick. While a full review of the commitment motivators in a relationship is outside the scope of this article, there are some quick, clear basics. First off, both men and women come to expect attention in a relationship. Regardless of how well you cook or how much money you earn, stop paying attention to your partner and chances are high that they will stray. With this in mind, too much attention can also push a partner away (maybe not to cheat, however).
Admiration is the next basic commitment motivators. While both spouses share this need, the man usually has a greater need for admiration. When a woman's admiration for her husband dies (or fades considerably), the man will have a heightened sensitivity to the admiration of another woman. Of course, admiration can present itself in a variety of ways and does not suggestion a woman should transform herself into a dedicated slave to her husband's every need. Instead, the absence of nagging or complaining can enhance existing signs of admiration.
So, what does it mean when a man cheats? One question we must ask ourselves is whether or not we were able to "admire" and "respect" our partner while giving them the right amount of "attention." In many cases, a man who cheats will claim that he feels unappreciated by his wife and that he has lost her interest and admiration. Would the right mix of admiration, respect, and attention eliminate the incidence of cheating? That depends.
Another reason men might cheat is that they understand that their wives are usually extremely loyal (in contrast to the male statistic, only 14% of women cheat on their spouse). In fact, women are extremely unlikely to leave after their husband has an affair because they feel their man needs and wants them. Perhaps it is an inbred motherly instinct, but women are a lot more tolerant after an affair than a man is. Whether it is a statement of their loyalty, women are also more forgiving. With divorce statistics as high as they are, this becomes extremely important.
Now, forgiveness does not mean tolerance of affairs. Instead, by gaining awareness about infidelity, we may succeed in keeping our spouses satisfied emotionally and eliminating or at least reducing the need that men feel to seek attention, respect, and admiration elsewhere. Although no relationship can claim to be perfect, almost all of them can be made better with a small investment of effort from both parties. By increasing our attention level (such as spending more time with our spouse and taking an interest in their lives), by showing signs of admiration (such as thanking them for their contributions even if they fall short) and, finally, by showing greater respect (such as understanding our spouse is an emotional being and deserves respect) we can expect an improvement to the quality of the relationship as we see it.
About the Author:
For a detailed understanding of how relationships work, get your full relationship package at Help Get My Ex Back. Samantha Fulcher is the Relationship Advisor for The Match Maker Review.
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