Facing divorce and stymied about how tell your kids? Wondering how it will affect them? Worried about hurting them with the news? When's the best time to talk? What to say and not say? What will they say? Not sure just what to confide?
There's no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you'll ever have. It's a talk your children won't want to have-and you must be prepared.
Here are the mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you don't add stress to your children's lives by making these errors.
Making your children choose between their parents. Don't ask your children to make decisions or judgments regarding the parents they love. This puts enormous pressure on them. It's your place to make all parenting decisions.
Neglecting to tell your kids that they are not at fault. Don't assume your children understand that they are victims in your divorce. Remind them frequently that they bare no blame in any way related to your divorce.
Confiding adult details to children so as to attract their allegiance or sympathy. Kids are confused and burdened by this complex emotional information. Share it with your friends or professional counselors, not with your children.
If youre not sure what to say and how to say it in age-appropriate language, there are many resources available to help you. Therapists and mediators provide excellent personal guidance. Collaborative divorce attorneys (those who specialize in creating non-adversarial divorce solutions) can be of great assistance at this time. Clergy, school Guidance Counselors and parenting experts are good to turn to. There are many articles and books written on the subject as well.
Dont underestimate how seriously your children will be impacted by this news. Speak gently and will love. Avoid the pitfalls that make a tough conversation even tougher on your kids. With care and consideration you can set the stage for a positive future for both you and your children.
There's no doubt this might be one of the most difficult conversations you'll ever have. It's a talk your children won't want to have-and you must be prepared.
Here are the mistakes most commonly made by parents. Be sure you don't add stress to your children's lives by making these errors.
Making your children choose between their parents. Don't ask your children to make decisions or judgments regarding the parents they love. This puts enormous pressure on them. It's your place to make all parenting decisions.
Neglecting to tell your kids that they are not at fault. Don't assume your children understand that they are victims in your divorce. Remind them frequently that they bare no blame in any way related to your divorce.
Confiding adult details to children so as to attract their allegiance or sympathy. Kids are confused and burdened by this complex emotional information. Share it with your friends or professional counselors, not with your children.
If youre not sure what to say and how to say it in age-appropriate language, there are many resources available to help you. Therapists and mediators provide excellent personal guidance. Collaborative divorce attorneys (those who specialize in creating non-adversarial divorce solutions) can be of great assistance at this time. Clergy, school Guidance Counselors and parenting experts are good to turn to. There are many articles and books written on the subject as well.
Dont underestimate how seriously your children will be impacted by this news. Speak gently and will love. Avoid the pitfalls that make a tough conversation even tougher on your kids. With care and consideration you can set the stage for a positive future for both you and your children.
About the Author:
Rosalind Sedacca Certified Corporate Trainer and relationship facilitator, is the creator of the new ebook which is a great tool for Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce. For free articles, free ezine and other valuable resources for parents, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com When it comes to Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce get some sound professional advice.
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