School didn't teach us how to work with our feelings. We didn't get any classes on working through feelings of lack, emptiness, worthlessness and sadness. We weren't instructed about how to let our emotions thrive. And because we weren't taught any of these things, many of us suffer from forms of depression that can weigh us down for weeks and months.
If you notice depression symptoms, you will naturally react by trying to get rid of or avoid them. We don't want to feel bad about ourselves, or empty, or heavy and meaninglessness. So we do what comes naturally, we try to suppress and resist these types of feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
The first way is to anesthetize, which is to use drugs or eat too much. The second way is to Project. This means to kick the dog, attack others, blast our bad feelings to all around us. The third way is to Channel Change, which is to go for a walk, watch television, call a friend, etc.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting our bad feelings also works only for a little while. When we yell at a colleague or smash a glass or plate, we feel a bit better, but only for the moment. But projection doesn't really resolve the underlying feeling, and it obviously tends to damage our relationships and frighten the people around us.
Changing the Channel is a healthy way to deal with difficult emotions. We all need to learn to manage our moods, or else we can end up in a tower spraying bullets " figuratively or literally. So when we feel sad and watch a comedy on tv, or go for a hike, or call a friend, we avoid wallowing in the feeling and lift our mood without drugs or alcohol. We all should be developing more ways to change the channel on our emotions as we grow older.
However, changing the channel doesnt resolve the issue. If we feel sad and go visit a friend, when we return home the sadness might return also. The problem with all three ways of dealing with difficult emotions is that oftentimes the emotion we are trying to deal with comes back. Sure, you can deal with feelings of despondency by going to the bar and drinking, but the next morning with a hangover the feeling might come back with a vengeance.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall.
If you notice depression symptoms, you will naturally react by trying to get rid of or avoid them. We don't want to feel bad about ourselves, or empty, or heavy and meaninglessness. So we do what comes naturally, we try to suppress and resist these types of feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
The first way is to anesthetize, which is to use drugs or eat too much. The second way is to Project. This means to kick the dog, attack others, blast our bad feelings to all around us. The third way is to Channel Change, which is to go for a walk, watch television, call a friend, etc.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting our bad feelings also works only for a little while. When we yell at a colleague or smash a glass or plate, we feel a bit better, but only for the moment. But projection doesn't really resolve the underlying feeling, and it obviously tends to damage our relationships and frighten the people around us.
Changing the Channel is a healthy way to deal with difficult emotions. We all need to learn to manage our moods, or else we can end up in a tower spraying bullets " figuratively or literally. So when we feel sad and watch a comedy on tv, or go for a hike, or call a friend, we avoid wallowing in the feeling and lift our mood without drugs or alcohol. We all should be developing more ways to change the channel on our emotions as we grow older.
However, changing the channel doesnt resolve the issue. If we feel sad and go visit a friend, when we return home the sadness might return also. The problem with all three ways of dealing with difficult emotions is that oftentimes the emotion we are trying to deal with comes back. Sure, you can deal with feelings of despondency by going to the bar and drinking, but the next morning with a hangover the feeling might come back with a vengeance.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall.
About the Author:
You can discover more ways to get help with depression in the book about Treating Depression Naturally In Minutes A Day. John Stephan Laney teaches emotional skillsand you can learn more at Help For Depression. Many types of depression can be healed without drugs or pyschotherapy.
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