Note to self: Water the plants. Take out the trash. Walk the dog. Break up with significant other.
If you relationship has soured and you want to take the necessary steps to end it, it should be more than a mere entry on your "to do" list. Sadly, many relationships last far beyond their expiration dates simply because breaking up is hard to do. But if you have determined to end your relationship, you should do so honestly, with civility and dignity.
Breakups shouldn't have to end up in dramatic fashion with clothing being thrown out the second story window. Nor should a relationship just peter out until it winds its way down to nothing. If you want to initiate the break up, how can you do it so neither party gets hurt?
Have it clear in your mind that this is what you want. The immediate reason you think you want to end the relationship may not be the real reason, it might just be a symptom. Give it much concentrated thought and you will isolate the real reasons. Then you must be honest. When you talk to your partner you must be honest to them and to you.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. It is better to do it in person than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner rather than waiting for a time you can get together. Never break up in an E-mail or text message.
Be empathetic when ending your relationship. If you want to remain friends, fine. But you need to absolutely conclude the romantic ties. This can be done with compassion. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Let your partner know the memories you share together mean a great deal to you and you have learned much from your relationship. Don't be remote during this conversation. You need to "be there" because your partner may become very emotional need you to respond to their needs.
Dont take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they dont really mean. Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
Now that you have had the conversation, don't feel guilty. You are about to start a whole new part of your life that no longer includes a romantic relationship with your ex. In time your ex partner will come to appreciate that you were honest and the break up was best for both of you.
Will you ever get back together. Only the two of you can decide. Most relationships can be saved but both parties have to work at it, and conditions must be met. If you are both willing to do the work necessary to repair the relationship, you will become a stronger couple. But if the break up is final, honesty, civility and dignity require that you both walk away and move on.
If you relationship has soured and you want to take the necessary steps to end it, it should be more than a mere entry on your "to do" list. Sadly, many relationships last far beyond their expiration dates simply because breaking up is hard to do. But if you have determined to end your relationship, you should do so honestly, with civility and dignity.
Breakups shouldn't have to end up in dramatic fashion with clothing being thrown out the second story window. Nor should a relationship just peter out until it winds its way down to nothing. If you want to initiate the break up, how can you do it so neither party gets hurt?
Have it clear in your mind that this is what you want. The immediate reason you think you want to end the relationship may not be the real reason, it might just be a symptom. Give it much concentrated thought and you will isolate the real reasons. Then you must be honest. When you talk to your partner you must be honest to them and to you.
Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. It is better to do it in person than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner rather than waiting for a time you can get together. Never break up in an E-mail or text message.
Be empathetic when ending your relationship. If you want to remain friends, fine. But you need to absolutely conclude the romantic ties. This can be done with compassion. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Let your partner know the memories you share together mean a great deal to you and you have learned much from your relationship. Don't be remote during this conversation. You need to "be there" because your partner may become very emotional need you to respond to their needs.
Dont take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they dont really mean. Let these words roll off of your back. Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.
Now that you have had the conversation, don't feel guilty. You are about to start a whole new part of your life that no longer includes a romantic relationship with your ex. In time your ex partner will come to appreciate that you were honest and the break up was best for both of you.
Will you ever get back together. Only the two of you can decide. Most relationships can be saved but both parties have to work at it, and conditions must be met. If you are both willing to do the work necessary to repair the relationship, you will become a stronger couple. But if the break up is final, honesty, civility and dignity require that you both walk away and move on.
About the Author:
Antonio MacGynn writes articles for About the Family, a website dedicated to the family. Most broken relationships can be repaired if the subconscious motivators that unite couples are understood. Sadly, most individuals taking steps to repair the relationship instinctively do exactly the wrong things at the wrong time. Learn how you can avoid these wrong steps and you can Repair the Relationship
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