Saturday, January 17, 2009

Secrets to Healthy Dating Relationships

By Chaszey Sandhriel

How do couples manage to keep healthy dating relationships even after a few decades of living together? How do the people in healthy dating relationships manage to stay compatible for the long term? In my experience, it takes the same people who started the relationship to keep it going. Sure, there are therapists and concerned family members around to keep the couple on track, but ultimately, the decisions will have to come from the couple. In fact, too much meddling from others may even prove to be detrimental in the long run. People who can barely hang on to their relationships are more susceptible to confusion and wrong turns may lead to dead ends when too many people put their two cents in.

Here are 5 secrets to keeping healthy dating relationships:

1. Say what you mean. The importance of communication cannot be denied. If you make it a habit to never tell white lies, you will eventually learn how to be completely honest to your partner. Everyone has a closet full of secrets, and most of the time, it is impossible to tell someone everything about you in such a short period of time. However, it gets easier as time goes by; particularly if you vow never to close your doors to someone you love. Be honest with your partner and start at the onset.

2. Don't let stress take over. Healthy dating relationships are romantic, but romance is not always possible. Work stress and family problems may devour every single second of your day, but you can do something to keep the flame burning. Kiss each other good night every single day to remind each other about your relationship.

3. Plan together - When you plan parties, trips or picnics, tell your partner about them. Respect each other's time and keep each other in the loop. Communicate affection and respect by including your partner in the decision making process.

4. Discuss expectations - It's impossible to make someone meet your expectations if they don't have any idea what they are in the first place. Unfortunately I frequently see that the couples keep their expectations hidden are also the unhappy ones. Remember that reading someone's mind is not something that ordinary people do. Remember that Healthy dating relationships are not always smooth sailing. Sometimes the stress we experience come from the very pitfalls and emotional traps within our relationships. Try to find ways to get over these hurdles together to make your relationship work.

5. Be supportive of each other's career ? Some couples share the same profession, and this could create a competitive atmosphere within the household. Questions about who's earning more and who's not contributing what should be avoided to preserve harmony. If your partner gets promoted, be happy for him or her. Don't let career and finances ruin your relationship. Once you commit to someone, you share everything. To really thrive as a couple, success and failure should be shared.

Above all, maintaining healthy dating relationships always require patience, grace and understanding. Most people may not know how to make a relationship last, but everyone intuitively knows the basics of loving another person, which is a great starting point.

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